Day 2,233

The Opened Book

Mom says “time to read!”

Ella Mae screams “BIBLE” and runs to get hers. 

They don’t know Christ. They don’t even know how to read. But they understands bits of Truth and they understand the Bible is where you find it. I pray and hope this daily affection for Scripture remains the posture of their heart and desire of their pursuit forevermore. 

Day 2,354

The Last Day of Offseaon ‘17-‘18

On the last day of our ouffseason, Ella Mae floated all by herself. 

Amelia flipped her doll bed on its side, took my Bible study notes, and began “preaching.” 

And Bearett played in his first ever tee ball scrimmage!!! It was quite possibly the funniest thing that’s happened around here in a while and we’re excited to watch more of it. Bearett got to hit three times and was close to crying when not one single ball was hit to him where he could field it. He left determined to work on his craft so he wouldn’t be so frustrated while chasing after balls and getting beat to them by his teammates hahaha. Also, when he went through the “good job” line at the end, he held out his left hand for high fives even though all the kids that were passing him were on his right!! Hahaha I can’t even make this stuff up. Hilarious. 

We’re so proud of you, Bubba!! 

Happy offseason from the Conleys!

It was the fullest, most joyous and challenging one to date. We grew in number, in faith, in wisdom, and in the gym (ha!), and are more prepared than ever before for what lies ahead. We’re trusting the Lord in whatever way He decides to use us this year and pray for humility and joy, peace and contentment as we seek to become all things to all men in the pursuit of sharing Christ with those put before us. 

Let’s do this, Conleys. 

Day 2,321

The Small Ministry

Our new friend’s name is Alanna and she loves spending time with us. We love spending time with her too. So much, in fact, that Amelia invited her to church and she’s said yes for the second Sunday in a row!

It’s incredible that my children are now a sort of ministry all by themselves, as the world they know is saturated in biblical truths and they’ll tell anyone and everyone just exactly what they think about it.. It’s a sweet blessing that we are so grateful for and something we will continue nurturing faithfully. 

It fills my heart to have witnessed such a beautiful picture yesterday. I snuck out to watch children’s church because I was told it would be a treasured blessing - and that it was. After their three songs of praise, everyone sat down to get ready to pray. That’s when Bearett stood up and said that he wanted to lead prayer. And so he did. 

“Lord, thank you for all my friends. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. Teach me to listen. Teach us to obey. Teach us to honor you. Amen.”

We are in awe of how much he’s learned and grown in such a short amount of time and are constantly giving thanks for his life in ours. I am so proud, BearBear. 

Day 2,262

The Daily

Playin. 

Poopin. 

Livin. 

Learnin. 

Day 2,240

The Day We Became Five

At 7:22 last night, our lives changed forever. 

Adam and I sat in the foyer of our church with tears in our eyes, having just ended a 17 minute phone call with a judge in Washington State. It was finally official.

We hugged each other tight and ran outside to find our son.

Bearett John Conley.

A new name. A new family. A new hope.

And our new son. Our new brother. Our number 5.

Thank you, Lord.

Thank you. Oh, thank you.

We've been praying over this transition ever since the conversation came up with my precious, sacrificial, and selfless sister, in mid-August. But we've been praying over this boy for much much longer than that. From the moment we were given the news of his life in my sister's womb, we were committed to doing whatever we could to help raise him into a faithful man one day. We've not stopped this pursuit nor this prayer. And we never will. 

Bearett, our son,

You've brought an immeasurable amount of joy into our lives already and we cannot wait to spend the rest of our days leading you and protecting you, covering you and teaching you, nourishing you, playing with you, praying with you, guiding you, serving you, delighting in you. And most of all, showing you the sweet love of Christ and raising you in Truth. We've had the privilege of watching you grow up from afar over the past four years, but now we have the greatest honor of welcoming you into our family - into the most intimate and closely bonded group of people I will ever know. And sweet boy, we desperately want you to be apart of that. Our desire is that you always recognize and understand the love that binds you to us - that it's a tiny sliver of the Greatest Love that binds us to our Savior. And that love is unchanging. Unwavering. Forever. Perfect. It's a love that rescued your Daddy and I into God's family and made us sons and heirs through adoption. Yes, baby. Even we are adopted too. And that Truth is what we have given our entire lives to. It's a Truth that we pray will one day set you free. That will give you a peace unlike any other. That will adopt you for a second time. 

Bearett, we offer you everything we have. Everything we know. Everything we will ever attain. We give you our word. We give you our name. We give you our hearts. 

We will love you with the same fervent love that we pour over our girls. 

We will lead you with the same intensity and seriousness, respect and delight.

We will celebrate your achievements. We will mourn your regrets.

We promise to walk you through each in grace and humility, constantly pointing you back to Christ and the Truth we live our lives by. We will be fair. We will be honest. We will encourage you and rebuke you. We will give you rest. We will give you fun. Lots of fun. We will show you what a faithful man looks like. And a faithful woman too. We will do what we say we'll do. Always. 

You will witness a marriage that points you to Jesus. One that is rich in love. One that is defined by servanthood. Truth. Forgiveness. Loyalty. Humility. Sacrifice. Contentment. We will show you what it means to be a man and will lead you to become one who is honorable in all his pursuits. We pray you grow to trust us and understand how loved you truly are. How much you mean to us. And that though you came into our family through our hearts, you're just as much apart of the Conley Five as anyone else.

Bear, your daddy has always wanted a son. He's heart's desire is to raise a boy into a man in a world that's marked by a tremendous lack of faithful men. He's prayed for a son. He's prayed for your life for a very long time. And the Lord, in his mercy, has answered both. Bearett, we serve SUCH a great God!! Watching Dad lead you has been one of the sweetest blessings of my life. He looks at you with great determination. Great responsibility. Great care. And great love. He looks forward already, to the day you can, Lord willing, sharpen each other in faith. To the day he can watch you lead your own family. He's excited to teach you how to hunt and fish and shoot guns and build Legos and drive trucks. He's ready to take you to the field and teach you all he knows about the game he's loved since he was your age. He's willing to do all the little things and all the big things - anything and everything it'll take to give you the tools you need to become a faithful man. He'll work you hard. He'll expect great things. And I will too. Because you, Bearett, are one uniquely special young man. You're our boy. And we will do all we can to give you an environment in which you'll flourish in. 

So, come, Bearett. 

Come live a life alongside us.

Come. Bring your joys and your sorrows.

Bring your doubts and your fears.

Bring your love, your cheers, your smiles, your tears. 

Come, Bear Bear. Come learn and come play. Come with your dreams and your plans. 

We promise to meet you where you are.

We promise not to leave you there though.

Come with us Bearett. 

Come travel. Come rest. Come experience this beautiful, imperfect, and wildly cherished life with us. 

We want you. We need you. We love you so much, son.

"But when the fullness of time came, God sent forth his son, born of a woman, born under the Law, so that he might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons."

- Galatians 4:4-5

_________________

I want to thank all of you who've shown us such grace and understanding over the past few months. It's taken an extreme amount of effort, time, focus, and intentionality to get to where we are now, and we've had to make many sacrifices to do so. Thank you to all those who've been praying over our adoption plans as they've unfolded before us since August. The Lord has been so clear in leading us in this direction and has provided us a sweet peace and rest all along. Thank you to Susan, who took our first family photos - they're beautiful. Thank you to all of you who've been praying over Bearett's life - ever since we learned about his tiny existence five years ago. Thank you to our family, who's loved and cared and nurtured Bearett alongside my sister the last four years. And mostly, thank you Morgan. You are an unsung hero who deserves to be praised for the bravery, care, responsibility, and ownership you showed in first birthing your son and then trusting us to raise him. The world offers other pursuits that would've compromised so many lives in this endeavor and we thank you for faithfully raising Bearett to the best of your abilities over the last four years, even when it wasn't easy. Even when the world gave you other options. You've done an incredible job with the skills you have and we're beyond proud of you. You've given us the greatest gift and I don't know how we'll ever repay you, other than by loving Bearett truly as our own. He will grow up knowing just how selfless you are and recognizing all the sacrifices you made in order to get us to where we are now. Thank you, dear sister. Thank you.

October 31 remains such a near and dear day to this Conley family. It was five years ago on this day that my father died - a death that is marked by so much hope and joy and answered prayer. We miss him and love him dearly, but are hopeful that he's singing the Lord's praises with his Father in Heaven even now. It was two years ago on this day that Adam and I received the keys to our first home. A home that we've prayed would exude peace and family and the Love of Christ. A home like the one I entered all those years ago that led me to questions about salvation and Jesus and how to obtain the kind of peace there that I'd never experienced before in my entire life. And then yesterday. October 31, 2017. The day we called Bearett, "Son." The day we became a family of five. The day we opened our home and our hearts to a boy that we'd been praying for for so long. I'm in awe of the Lord's providence and how clear it is now looking back, that this was his perfect plan all along. We are so excited about our family of five and looking forward with great expectation to the future. We love you Bearett. And we will obediently lead you in grace, love, sacrifice, and humility, as we raise you as our own.

Happy "Fall Festival" 2017!

We will be celebrating this extra-special day for all the years to come!

Day 2,203

The Littles Who Love to Sing

Every single morning - and then throughout the remainder of the day - we turn on our music. We love most of all the hymns and by now, the kiddies can sing along with the likes of "Nothing but the Blood of Jesus," "How Deep the Father's Love for Us," "On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand"(which they call the Clever Builder song)," "'Tis so Sweet," and so many more. It blesses my heart hearing their tiny voices sing theology so rich and alive in truth. Truth that has completely changed - and saved - my life. Our favorite voice right now is by a lady named Chelsea Moon and she sings alongside some fun guys who make bluegrass music with their funny guitars. Sometimes, when Amelia and Bear are lucky, the YouTube playlist that I keep on throughout the day plays a video (most of the songs played are just a solid image of the album cover) that they play along with. Amelia is quick to run into her room, grab her guitar, and play with her friends. My eyes well with tears watching them learn, even though they can't understand yet. The purity of a child and their tender hearts just captivate me. 

We listen all day. Even from the pool when we open the screen door, letting the music blast out from inside.  We haven't been able to leave the house since arriving due to their snotty noses, so our time in the pool is extra fun. 

Little Babe has been clinging to me for two days straight. Yesterday was especially hard on her and every time I attempted putting her down, she woke up crying. So, we rocked and rocked all through the evening and into the night. Unlike her sister who needed just white noise to sleep, Ella Mae LOVES when you sing to her. Her pretty blue eyes roll to the back of her head as you hum tunes in her ears, which is yet another blessing because one, we never have to turn it off, and two, even when it's not on, I can still be singing. Ah. Tiny blessings are still worthy of praise. My heart is so full. So incredibly full. And I can't wait to watch it grow when Daddy is finally home and with his babes. 

Day 2,198

The Exhausted Mom

Lego family. Because: I had to. 

Yesterday, the kids made every single mess they could, gave me every bit of grief they owned, and by night's end, had me about to my breaking point. Good thing Dad's game only went into one extra inning and came home in the nick of time. And good thing too that these babes are irresistibly adorable. 

If I could've just had someone carry me around like this all day - or at least even for an hour - my sanity may have remained in tact. They oughta invent a grown up version. 

I got a small break at nap time. Only, Amelia decided half way through that my lap was actually a better pillow than the one on her bed, so my alone time was too, cut short. Good thing I can read, write, and act as a pillow quietly and still achieve my goal of sanity preservation. Daily time in the Word provides me just that. Thank you, Jesus. 

Then, just like we do every night when he's not home, we made our 6:30 Dada call and got all fired back up for the evening hours. He's our best. We can't wait to have him home. 

And then, packing began. I can't count on one hand how many times I've done this this year. Looking forward to using an actual dresser at some point. This mama is absolutely, incredibly exhausted. Can ya tell?!!

Day 2,141

The Eighth Fish Start 2017

If this is how you start off your day, you know it's bound to be good. Total swoon. Uh, just such scrumptious humans!! 

And wouldn't you know it, the day WAS good, indeed!

See?! Proof! Red eyes and all!

We visited another stadium yesterday and were amazed at the size of Globe Life Park in Arlington, Texas. We were even more amazed at our Dada though! He's working hard and still working through some things, but we've come a long way from where we were at the beginning of season. In baseball obviously, but moreso in life, which has had it's almost immediate effect on the field. We're just trying to be a faithful and obedient witness to the Lord wherever we go and learning that that literally means WHEREVER. Not just where we're comfortable or most settled. The ability find true contentment and peace in Christ has been a main focus of mine these past couple months, and this has begun to lead me in a way that allows me to enjoy and pursue this game rightly AND with open hands. And so, yesterday, I truly enjoyed the game for the first time this season. And maybe on an even grander scale than that. And turns out, he pitched well too, which made it even sweeter. 

So proud of him and how much he's grown this year. Wouldn't want to do life alongside anyone else. Love you forever, Dada. And so do they. 

7IP, 7H, 0R, 0BB!!!!!, 5K and the W 

He's 3-3 on the season and lowered his ERA by an entire run with yesterday's performance against the Rangers (and his favorite Adrian Beltre). 

Day 2,135

The Seventh Fish Start

We've done and grown so much over the course of the past two months. A lot went in to getting us back here and we're both grateful, excited, and better prepared to finish the season here with the Fish, Lord willing. 

Having sweet friends to help ease the load and keep me accountable in the stands is exactly what I needed to re-begin this journey. Clearly, Ella Mae was happy about it as well. 

She was also happy to see her Dada back in his Miami uniform. Mostly so she could wear this outfit finally, she won't lie. 

What a sweet joy it was watching her face light up and her memory buzz with familiarity. It was exciting for her. It was exciting for me. And I think that's where it needs to stay. Nothing more. Nothing less. I need to finally recognize that Adam does this first and foremost to the glory of our Lord and second as his ministry. If I can properly keep and love baseball how it was designed to be treated, things will likely go a whole lot better than they were. A proper perspective of this lifestyle and what the Lord has entrusted us with is what I desperately needed to get a grip of. The time away helped bring so much clarity in that regard. 

Dad pitched well in his return. He's still got a lot of work to do, but it finally feels like there's answers in front of us that we just didn't have before. And that's really exciting. He knows what he needs to work on and already, is seeing the fruits of his labor. We're excited to see how the rest of this season unfolds. 

6IP, 8H, 2R, 2BB, 3K, ND but a Quality Start. 

Atta boy Daddy. 

Day Two Thousand and Sixty-Five

The Sixth 2017 Start

 

If I were choosing to be flippant, this is what I would say yesterday amounted to; that it started off this way...and ended this way too. But instead, I will say that while it was crappy and hard and exhausting and everything I basically didn't want it to be, it wasn't for nothing. 

Before we could even understand how the day would unfold, the Lord knew. And in his mercy and kindness, he brought our pastor and his wife down to Miami for what we thought would just be a fun night enjoying the game together. Instead, they brought wisdom and truth and tenderness and rebuke - all of which I didn't know we needed.  

 

Adam was optioned to AAA last night. 

Back to the city I thought I'd never have to see again. He's not pitched good enough this season and he's obviously aware of it and pursuing the issues. And though most everything about this is challenging me and I'm fighting it hard, somewhere beyond my feelings is truth that I need to choose to focus on. 

  

I don't know what the Lord has planned for us. I don't know what tomorrow holds or the logistics that will make this "work." If I'm being honest, I'm really struggling. This season has already been difficult for us due to the schedule the Marlins have endured this first month. And just as I thought it was going to start slowing down - meaning that their schedule has them home a lot this next month - he gets sent down to New Orleans the very day he gets back. It's a crushing feeling and I'm asking for prayer. 

On top of it, it was Ellie and Parker's last night here and I hate having to say goodbye to them. 

Thankfully, we all were able to have some intentional, serious, God-honoring conversations last night alongside Pastor Phillip and Miss Tawnyia, which really helped to ease the burden and bring light to realities that seemed far away in the moment. 

_______

Adam has 3 days to report to New Orleans. He needs to figure whatever it is out and perform well before a promotion back to Miami will be an option.