Day One Thousand One Hundred and Eighty-Seven

The Magic Trick

Before yesterday, he had to carry his AR wherever he went (in the house).

Now...

Look Ma! No hands!

...Baby Conley, what are we gonna do with Daddy...?

Day One Thousand One Hundred and Forty

The Double Birthday Skeptic

Before.

During.

After.

It took 2 hours, 1 sunburn, 4 spray paints, a raw finger, too many days of research, and some creative perseverance to pull this off. And for sure, I was Adam's greatest skeptic. But once again, he's proven me wrong. Bravo, my dear. Looks like it was manufactured that way and I'm quite impressed. I'll never question you again. Ever. Well at least till next time.

We also celebrated two birthdays yesterday…!

 Happy 28th Birthday, Lara! We love you and love celebrating the woman you are and the friend you've been to us! 

AND HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY TO MY SWEETEST LITTLE HUNTER MAN!!!

Uncle and I are so sad we couldn't be there to celebrate your special day, but forever, we want you to know how much we love you and just how much we cherish your little life. You are the funniest, kindest, smartest, most adorable BigBoy we know and you light up our lives like no one else can. Love you Hunter! And we also love your party theme! Keep practicing and remember: you can throw with your right hand if you must, but you have to hit left-handed if that's the case ;) Just looking out for your future! That's what aunties and uncles are for Ha! And good job Ellie on the party decorations! You are just so talented!

Day One Thousand One Hundred and Four

The Cut

Adam's version of "crafts."

He spent most of yesterday tracing and cutting gun shapes from his oversized piece of rifle case foam. And when I asked, he explained to me that his firearms will fit more securely now. I just shook my head as tiny specs of black foam dropped to the dining room floor. "You're gonna vacuum that up, right, Adam?"

Day One Thousand and Seventy-Three

The Last Laugh

…and just when you're moving the very last box…

350 bullets dump everywhere.

Naturally.

Day One Thousand and Seventy-Two

The Way We Do Things

Shoot first.

Move second.
It's the logical chain of events, right?

We're finally completely in, thanks to the help of the Rickards and Jim last night! I actually don't even know how they're still our friends…I woulda ran away a long time ago if the roles were reversed and we were lured to help move them in and out every six months. Ha! Must mean we got ourselves some keepers! Love y'all. Thanks again for your friendship, muscles, and time!

Day One Thousand and Fifty-Five

The Gun Fun

Scott bought a gun. A brand new one. But he has to wait for it.
For five. Whole. Days.

Dunn Dunn Duuuunnnnn.

So in the meantime, Adam intricately described every nook and cranny of his MK25.

Because that's what guys do. Apparently.

Day Nine Hundred and Seven

The Tornado Threat

So…the Marlins and the 2013 World Series Champs tried to mix baseball and a tornado warning yesterday...

The two mixed well until the 8th inning when a torrential downpour scattered the crowd and lightning threatened the men in uniform. The game was called and we ran to the truck for safety!

With a little extra time and the tornado threat gone, we decided on a date night at the gun range. Time to finally shoot our AR-15!

Bang!

Bang!

Oh boy do I LOVE this gun!!

Day Eight Hundred and Eighty-Eight

The Day at Artiguns

Just feet outside our front door, one of the top art festivals in the entire country set up shop for the weekend. We started our day off, well, first at the barber (that's another story), and then here at Artigras, on the streets of our little Abacoa community, admiring the (ultra-expensive) works of some of America's finest artists. Oh, such class! Such sophistication!

End: sophistication.

The art was nice and all, but maybe nothing is more beautiful (at least to Adam) than a mangled up piece of leftover target. Haha! And when we discovered that Greg had never shot a gun before, our day turned immediately from soft music and whimsical paintings to loud bangs and gun smoke.

Bad to the bone. Da na na na na!

B-B-B-B-Bad!

I'm getting better and better. Only because I have the best teacher! Watch out for this girl, bad guys.

Correction:

Watch out for this group, bad guys.

Day Eight Hundred and Thirty-Eight

The Gas Block Shop

This is a gunsmithing shop.

That big hunk of machinery is called a mill.

 And squeezed tightly into that mill is Adam's AR.

Here's the issue:

There's something on Adam's gun called a gas block. He wants to switch said gas block out for a smaller one. Only problem: he can't get it off. One of the two pins is stuck. So, he's been working on hammering the pin out for a solid week now. An entire 7 days of ting ting ting tinging about sent me over the edge, so I told him, either the gas block stays or we're taking it to a professional. No more mindless hammering! 

Well, he obviously wants the block gone, and he can't remove it himself, so it was off to the store for us. More bad news: the gunsmith said yesterday that he's only ever had to drill out three gas blocks in his whole entire career. And ours just-so-happens to be one of them. He couldn't hammer it out either! How does this happen? Uhhhh. As of now, the dumb thing is in the shop until sometime next week, and it's going to cost us a pretty penny to get it back! 

<Insert rolling wife eyes here>

Day Eight Hundred and Twenty-Eight

The First Time I Shot My First Gun

Adam says once I get over the recoil (and deafening noise) of shooting, I'll enjoy it. I might even be good at it. For now, I'm mostly apprehensive and a little scared. Oh, and really really bad. Like, close my eyes (on accident) and aim at the ground kind of bad. Good news though: I can't get worse!

Adam on the other hand…the kid can shoot. At least I snagged myself a good teacher. A good teacher with really good hair.

See what I mean? Any guesses which bullet holes are mine?! 

Day Eight Hundred and Twenty-Six

The Time I Sat Outside a Gun Range. Alone.

(Sad Face)

When appropriate, I leave my purse at home. Like, when we go to dinner. Or when we go to the beach. Or whenever we go anywhere that Adam is in charge of the bill. Which is mostly most the time. I normally only take it with me when it's just me…or when we go to church when I pack my purse with fourteen hundred pounds of Bible and books. Yesterday, I wasn't by myself. And I wasn't going to church. So, I left it at home. 

BIG MISTAKE.

Turns out, you need a driver's license to shoot a gun. Adam obviously knew that and accidentally overlooked the fact that I didn't walk out of the condo with my bag. Rats. So, while Adam shot his new gun, I sat and read my new Kindle, with my new gun by my side…glaring at me. We live 12 miles from the range we're members of, so driving back wasn't really an option. Nor was wasting the gas and nobody getting to shoot. Lesson: learned.

Day Eight Hundred and Eleven

The Best Defense is a Good Offense

In the Conley household, we exercise our Second Amendment Rights.

After over two years of constant gun-related conversations with Adam and his three firearms later (four if we're counting the bow), I finally pulled the trigger and hopped on the bandwagon. It's official. I'm the owner of my first ever gun. A Sig Sauer P938 9mm. (Adam's third: a Sig Sauer MK25 9mm) And man, does it feel good!

Day Eight Hundred and Two

The Sigs

Say hello to my little friend. On the left. Adam's bigger friend is on the right. Yeah. This just happened. Exhale!! Remember how I said I'd rescue my Sig from the other side of the glass display someday? Well yesterday, I put my big girl pants on and did just that. Purchased my very first gun. Ever. Like, whoa. Adam and I have to wait 5 business days - per Palm Beach County law - to take possession of our firearms, and you bet, Saturday can't come soon enough. Adam bought a Sig Sauer MK25 9mm and me…a Sig Sauer P938 9mm. 

Day Seven Hundred and Ninety-Five

The Prisoner

Oh hey there hideously scary-looking ghost bug. You succeeded in making me scream yesterday. Thanks for that. I looked really sane in front of my new neighbors. Uhh. If there's one thing I sincerely do NOT appreciate here in Florida, it's the wildly diverse insect population. Like for real? That bug is not ok with me. It's too…white. Ick.

If you despise the picture above as much as I do, then feast your eyes on this little beauty. Ahhhh. So perfect. For now, she's hiding behind the glass case at Gander, but soon - oh so soon - I'll be rescuing her. I found my gun!! Yippee!

Day Seven Hundred and Ninety-Two

The Helicopter Target Practice

Call me crazy, but even without any children of my own, I know the sound of silence when I hear it. And it can only mean one thing: trouble.

Yesterday, while I was busy doing whatever it was I was doing, I noticed something odd. Adam was nowhere to be seen. Even more bizarre, I could hear every little nothing. The AC. The drip of the faucet. The hum of the distant lawn mower. The little cockroach feet on our linoleum. The hair on my arms prick up. Hey, soomeone has to kill that thing! Hey! Where's my husband? Adam? Adaaaaaaam? 

Twelve steps later, I discovered the origin of my uncomfortable silence. Adam, locked away in his man room, obviously practicing helicopter take-downs. Duh. Trouble, I tell ya! 

Day Seven Hundred and Ninety-One

The Tickets to the Gun Show

No, not my arms. But an actual gun show. Yes, I, Kendall Conley, went to my first gun show!

And when I told my mom I attended this yesterday, her immediate response was, "That boy's turning you into a redneck." She was joking, of course, but to that I said: PROUDLY!

I was stunned at the sight before me. I've never seen anything like it. Literally, guns everywhere. And knives and tazers and magazines and ammo and pepper spray and kettle corn too. It was really…neat actually! I was only a little intimidated by the unchained and uncovered knives all around me, but that's probably because I've been watching too much Dexter. Fact: the show is giving me nightmares. But they're worth it. Mostly. Haha. I saw and learned a lot yesterday…and I'm especially excited about purchasing my first firearm! I've narrowed down the list of my favorites…now all I need is some testing at the range! 

I made a good choice when I married Adam. [Thumbs up emoji here] ;)

Day Seven Hundred and Sixty-Nine

The Safe Hunter

Adam here, I attended a hunter safety course in Hendry County(2 hours west of jupiter) yesterday. I have been going through the long process of getting new hunting gear, and equitment from scratch. For those of you who don't know, hunting gear is expensive, and there is a lot of it. Among my laundry list of things to do, qualifying me to legally hunt, was pass a hunter safety course. When I was younger I always went huntin with Pa, and was exempt from needed such license. Now that i'll be tagging my own game and getting my own permits, I needed a hunter safety certificate. So off to Hendry county, in a town called Clewiston. I would have attended a course nearer to Jupiter, but because of the limited classes ran throughout the year, I sped the process up about 3 weeks by driving to Clewiston yesterday.  It was necessary to get certified, so it was necessary to go to the class. I could have sat down and taken the test and passed, but as a safety precaution I suppose, I had to show them that I knew how to properly, and safety use a shotgun, bolt action rifle, and bow and arrow. This section, and the majority of my time spent there was pretty much a waste of my time. but in order to hit the woods, and to RESPONSIBLY(for all you anti-hunters out there) and legally hunt deer, it's all worth it.

Here is a look at the front of the Hendry county Sheriff's office Shooting Range, where the classroom section of the course was held.

One area of the outdoor training facilities at the shooting range. These areas are also used for training and firearm qualification for the Sheriff's office. Another section was further down the road, it was there that I passed the shotgun section of the course. Got a 100 on the test...been a while since I scored one of those on a test. I guess thats a sign that I belong in the woods, or on the baseball field, not at a desk. 

Day Seven Hundred and Sixty-Seven

The First Time I Ever Shot A Gun

Adam grew up hick. Ish. Me, not so much. Not even at all.

While he hunted and played with guns, I grew up braiding hair and playing Barbies. My parents never owned a gun. Adam's dad carries one every day at work. It's accurate to say that we grew up very different, and therefore, some of the things Adam likes are things I've never experienced. Until yesterday. For the first time ever, I watched an arrow being shot out of a bow - in real life. Katniss Everdeen made it look so easy in the movies. Come to find out, there's way more to it than pointing and shooting.  

But Adam managed to make it look pretty easy too, I must brag. For not having shot a bow in at least 5 years, he was money from 20 yards (that's as far back as the range is long). It took a little time and adjustment to get his pins set, but once he got comfortable, Adam shot well. All the holes in the bullseye would suggest that, but even better, when he was instructed to aim for the little black dot on the bottom left of the target sheet, he about hit the darn thing square on, not once, but twice...in a row! Keep working at it, Honey, and soon, we'll have ourselves a nice buck!

For round two, Adam put glasses and ear muffs of me and handed me a loaded gun. Enter: emotions on extreme. Again, I've only ever seen - or heard - a gun fired from the comfort of my couch. Never in real life. So when I entered the enclosed range and got the full effect of gun blast for the very first time, I was terrified. Caught off-guard. And totally scared for my life. I guess I'd never considered just how loud they are. The ear muffs should've given it away. 

I watched a gun being fired for the first time in my life. And I'm glad it was Adam that got to be that for me. He's such a patient and kind teacher, and made me feel safe in a place that I didn't necessarily feel safe in. Plus, he's really hot. And especially behind that gun!

The first shot scared me half to death. So did the second. The third too. I closed my eyes. Guilty. But the gun didn't smack me in the face. And I didn't accidentally kill anyone...those were my only goals for the day. I held that thing out there as strong as I could, not knowing how much it would "kick" me back. Well, it didn't. So there! I might've missed the target the first few times, but I didn't go home with a black eye. And everyone kept their lives. That, I'd say, was a successful day at the range. (And check out Adam's photo skills in this one...he snapped it right as the gun was firing! That's real fire! Which I didn't know happened before today either...)

I shot a 9mm and Adam shot - for the first time - his .44 mag. They - Adam and the employee - said that I wasn't allowed to shoot Adam's gun. Not anytime soon, at least. (Unless someone is breaking into my house, then I'll shoot it.) Apparently, the 44 is a hefty thing and would probably give me that black eye I'm trying to avoid. Of course, Adam has already shot the thing with one hand. Show off. Surely I'll be able to handle it with a few more days at the range!

It was an afternoon of many firsts. I was tired physically, mentally, and emotionally, but I know that once I feel calm and confident behind the trigger, it'll all be so worth it. Second amendment baby! 

Day Six Hundred and Seventy-Three

The Ways of a Simple Man

Aaaaand, for your viewing pleasure: a hot guy with a gun.

If you were ever curious about mornings in the Conley household, well, you're looking at it. Adam totes his oversize weapon (I say that lightly - I quite like the thing) around the condo, rattling off random facts and know-hows to an audience that can't even begin to understand what he's talking about - me. No, I've never shot a gun. And yes, we have two. This offseason, that'll change. But for now, I'll just admire the view.

(And yes, that is baseball on TV, in case you were wondering. Yesterday, MLB announced the All-Star rosters for each team. And that's what's on the tube. Also, I just noticed: that is a Cheaper Than Dirt magazine on the ottoman...a gun magazine. Baseball and guns. A typical Conley morning. Oh, how I love the simple life.)

Day Four Hundred and Sixty-Three

The Gun Show

Yesterday Kendall was busy with making Christmas Cards, and some other gifts, I spent some of my day driving down to  Gun Show at the South Florida Fairgrounds. Admission was 8 bucks and it was worth it. When I purchased my rifle it was bare, or as some would say, naked. This means there were no other parts "furnishing" the rifle, so sights and any other upgraded parts would have to be bought later. At this particular Gun Show, I found four items. All at discounted prices in comparison to retail costs. I strolled around the expo center for a little over an hour, saw a lot of cool stuff, and headed north back to Jupiter. 

One of the many many tables littered with firearms, gun accessories, parts, tools, memorabilia, clothing, and ammunition. There were other things as well, but too many more to mention. I had fun even though Kendall wasn't with me...I told her she would be bored and wouldn't have fun, so she stayed home and awaited my return not knowing whether I would arrive empty handed, or a salty discount shopper, gladly, I returned the latter!