Day Two Thousand and Thirty-Three

The Colors of the Rainbow

(My computer is dead and I'm laying in bed between two sweethearts. Some of the photos that I wanted to use from yesterday are on my camera and I can't get them onto the blog without my computer. And since the computer charger is in the other room, I'll just have to upload them tomorrow because walking the 30 steps is so not worth it right now. #MomLife )

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We experienced lots of firsts yesterday. 

Ella Mae took her first shower. Eight days old and with a head smelling like Mom's armpit, we decided it was time. She loved it. And I loved her not smelling like armpit anymore. Truth: I have stinky armpits and I know it. And these extra hormones ain't helping. 

All showered and un-stinkified (<--- not a word), we got into the car and together drove for the very first time - just the three of us. Our destination? The birthing center!! Turns out, Ella Mae actually doesn't mind the car so much - a far cry from the days of her infant sister, whom absolutely abhorred the car. 

Our one week appointment has already come and gone and I can't even believe it. Ella Mae was eight days old yesterday has already gained 0.3 lbs. She is doing great and so is Mama. Thank you Jesus!! 

 

And a huge thank you to the women whom surrounded me and covered me in love over the course of my pregnancy and labor.  Since we won't be seeing our birthing angels anytime soon, we decided to put together some gift baskets as a thank you for helping us welcome our little Rainbow Baby home. I couldn't have done it without the six women who were there by my side, just like you can't have a rainbow without all the colors. Love you so much, ladies. My mom being one of them. 

Cynda: red 

Sonia: orange

Maya: yellow

Tammy: green

Brandy: blue

Mommy: purple 

 

Exhausted from our huge day of firsts, we closed our eyelids and drifted off to sleep together. The three of us as cozy as can be. I love being their mommy. 

Day Two Thousand and Twenty-Five

The Day We Met Ella Mae 

 

 

Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it spring forth, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wildnerness and rivers in the desert. 

- Isaiah 43:19

I remember so vividly reading this scripture days after an ectopic pregnancy ended my second child's life and clinging to it's truth. 26 months later, I held that truth in the sweet embrace of our third child. 

Meet Ella Mae Katherine Conley!

We welcomed this beautiful GIRL to our family at 7:53 yesterday morning after only ten hours of labor! 

What a sweet treasured blessing she is!

 

 

8 pounds, 19.75 inches, and another 14 inch head. She came earthside into a birthing pool at our home and it was everything we hoped it would be. 

Daddy's in love. 

  

Amelia's in love. 

 

And we just can't get enough of this precious gift from our Lord. Thank you Jesus for such a wonderful and perfect addition to our family. 

 

Ella Mae, I love you forever and in a way I'll never love anyone else. I can't wait to obediently raise you in the sight of the Lord. May you come to know Him at a young age and glorify Him faithfully the rest of your life.

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(Professional photos taken by Liansley Photography)

Adam pitches tomorrow evening (Friday) at 7:05 at Roger Dean. 

Day Two Thousand and Twenty-Four

The Last Day of Conley Three

 

Yesterday: what we didn't know was our very last appointment and our very last day without our sweet Ella Mae. Such fond, dear, and precious memories. Amelia is going to miss hearing her "Beebee in mom's tummy" heart beat that goes "BOOM BOOM!" But what we're holding today is infinitely better. More on today's BEAUTIFUL surprise tomorrow!

Day Two Thousand and Seventeen

The Second 39th Week

 

It's the second time I've experienced the thrill and complete anxious nerves about being 39 weeks pregnant. So much unknown looms directly ahead of me and I can't wait for the progression to begin. Our lives are about to change dramatically and my excitement over it is unfathomable. Meeting this baby is so much different this time around - or at least I think it will be. Restoration. Preparation. Sacrifice. Life. This child is coming to us at such a sweet and delicate point in our lives and in our faith and our hearts are oh, so ready. So, so ready. 

Big Sister helps measure and feel the Beebee at every single appointment. She's hands on and doesn't like to watch idly. I love that about her. She doesn't quite understand what exactly is happening, but she loves my belly something fierce. I can't wait to see that translated. 

Right now, I'm feeling mostly severely uncomfortable and tired. But that's the expectation of a woman who's belly is the size of a basketball, so I try not to complain. I have tremendous help in Adam, who is constantly serving me with such grace and care. Paired with a church body and sweet friends who've helped pick up my slack, things are good. And so is the Lord. We've been faced with a few unexpected trials this week, but my pastor's wife has been faithful in helping me learn how to shepherd my own heart, so speaking truth to myself has grown me immensely in my faith this week. I am so grateful. 

 

In just a few days, these memories will be distant and fuzzy - a reality that isn't ours anymore. So lately, I've really just been trying to savor these moments with my girl while I dream about what she'll be like as a sister. She's got such a joy about her spirit and it's so completely contagious. I'll definitely miss these appointments with her and my midwives. Amelia loves hearing her Beebee's heart (in the 140s again yesterday) and once she's heard her sibling's, she always asks to hear hers. "BOOM BOOM BOOM! You hear dat?" she squeals. It's precious. So is she. And so is this life. Thank you Jesus. 

(One more small thing: our Babe is still posterior, which means that they're facing "sunny side up." It's not the worst thing to deal with, but labor is so much easier with the baby turned the other way. So please pray for them to flip over!)

Day Two Thousand and Fourteen

The Messy Nest

 

Last minute baby nesting going strong in the Conley household. We rearranged most all our baby bins, found some necessary newborn items, and realized that Amelia has more clothes than the two of us combined. Good news if our Beebee is a girl. But if we've got a boy in there, our bin storage might need an upgrade. 

 

And while we work tirelessly to maintain a reasonably clean home before our Babe comes, Amelia has no such desire. Problem is: I can't bend over well enough to pick things off the floor like I used to before this basketball got shoved up my shirt. It's times like these that make me grateful for a husband who recognizes my shortcomings and doesn't mind helping with typical "mom chores." Even better, he finds a way to insert scripture and a Godly message where I wouldn't have thought to. Yesterday, while Amelia and Adam were picking up her mess, he told her the parable of the lost coin (Luke 15:8-10) as they placed the coins back into her piggy. Oh how I love him. 

8“Or what woman, if she has ten [a]silver coins and loses one coin, does not light a lamp and sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? 9 When she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin which I had lost!’ 10 In the same way, I tell you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

Luke 15:8-10

Day Two Thousand and Twelve

The Full Life

 

Big Tum comin down the track...chugga chugga chugga. 

(^Conley inside joke song that I want to remember.) 

Yesterday, we had our 38 week appointment. Mom is mostly just done being pregnant this time around. I've absolutely loved it, but I'm just so anxious about meeting our babe that it's got me frazzled. A non-negative frazzle. But a frazzle for sure. Whatever that is. I can't wait to swoop my little Rainbow Baby up into my arms and cherish their little life from the comfort of my arms. Oh my heart! I've been dreaming about meeting them nearly every night for the past week and I know it won't stop until they're resting on my chest. 

Our baby has been THE most insanely active child maybe that's ever existed in a womb. If there's a moment where they're NOT kicking some part of me or flipping circles or doing the wave, it is quite the rare occasion. And I love it. Except when it hurts. This babe likes to stretch out as far horizontally as possible across my stomach and stay there for hours. I'm constantly having to massage their little body parts back into the center of my belly and though it hurts, I still think it's funny and cute. But my tummy is sure getting stretched to its limits. I really don't think there's any skin left for it to stretch into. This little Conley Beebee is sitting much differently than Amelia - low and out. And what I learned yesterday that gave us a clue as to why this child is so active: baby is in a posterior position. That means that the baby's back is against my back and their hands and feet and face are against my belly. This is often referred to as "sunny side up," and it's not the ideal delivery position. So we're going to spend the next however many days until Beebee comes, trying to flip them over! 

Also, I've had pregnancy induced anemia for the past several weeks and yesterday, my lab work came back and it turns out, I'm still anemic - ever so slightly, but still not within the proper range. So, I'll continue back onto my iron supplement (which is so disgusting and gives me a headache!) and pray that my levels rise before the baby comes. Other than that, our tiny blessing is doing great and I'm measuring perfectly. Their heart rate is in the 140s and my uterus is 37 inches. We have weekly appointments now, so I'll be seeing my midwife again on Tuesday if the babe hasn't come by then! Oh and another praise: I'm GBS negative, which - if you don't know what that means - is great news! No antibiotics for me during labor!

 

Amelia was helping the midwife measure Daddy's uterus too...sixteen she said! Haha! She understands the visible difference between a girl and a boy, but the uterus, well, we just haven't gotten that far yet!

After a long day, Millie was especially tired. She slept hard but woke up a grumpy-poo. So she frowned and cuddled the baby until her sweetness reestsblished itself 20 minutes later. Even when she's grumpy, she's still just so stinkin precious!!

 

 

And finally, last night, Adam and I were so completely blessed by our dear friends who offered to watch Amelia for the evening so we could have some time for just us. We dropped her off at Miss Katie's house and there she played for three hours while Mama and Dada enjoyed a date night in our sweats at home alone (thank you for the millionth time, Katie!!). We prepared supper together and then spent the rest of the night across from each other at the dinner table, talking about life, and love, and mostly the Lord. It was the perfect time for us to reconnect without any (adorable) interruptions, and though we cherish all our time with our girl, it sure was good for our marriage. We still feel like newlyweds and praise God for his constant guidance, protection, provision, and favor over our marriage in the past five and a half years. I sure love you, Adam. You've made it so easy for me to trust you, respect you, honor you, and serve you. And it's because of your obedience and faithfulness to Christ that makes it so. 

Day Two Thousand and Nine

The Lucky Day

Though we don't believe in luck, I will say that if we did, yesterday was one of the lucky ones. At least for Amelia. She got to grocery shop with Daddy - AND pay. 

 

She got to push the cart all the way to the car. 

 

 

And then Daddy surprised her with...

 

Ned! The snail! 

Because he knows how much she likes the snail in one of her animal books. 

 

She did everything with Ned last night. She even got to eat her favorite taco pie alongside Ned, WHILE watching a show. Wow Amelia! That's a rare treat, I must say!

 

And to cap it all off, Dada made her and Mommy a caramel milkshake out of our favorite Publix organic ice cream. He's a stud, that Dad. And we sure are lucky! ;)

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We asked Amelia last night, "Who's in Mommy's tummy?!" She replied, "Brudder Seester." Most of the time it's usually just "Seester," so this made us giggle a bit. Then we asked her, "When is the baby coming out?" She thought about it for a solid four seconds and without ANY prompting, said, "Tursday!" Which is Amelia-speak for "Thursday." Oddly enough, I've never once taught her the days of the week or what "when" means. So for her to give a sufficient answer to my question shocked us in and of itself, but even more,  pumped us up that this baby is coming to us on Thursday! She can't be wrong, right?! Ah! She's just the best. And she better be right! See you "Tursday," my precious Little Beebee! We're waiting anxiously!

Day Two Thousand and Seven

The Floatin' Fishie

My little Fraud is actually a fish after all!!!

I took her to the pool yesterday like Miss Gina suggested and expected the worst - tears, yelps, screams, tantrums. But what instead unfolded was the best time at the pool I've ever experienced in my life!! My girl swam AND LOVED IT!! She really loved it! Like, jumping into the water in the deep end kind of love! And not one tear was shed! I was both shocked and in awe of how much she'd learned in the week and at how much fun she was having. "Fun, Mama!! Swimming's fun! Again!" She swam for an HOUR without a single complaint and this Mama enjoyed every second! I propped my phone up to record this unbelievable milestone - unbelievable the key word - to show Adam and Miss Gina what I was witnessing and that this wasn't a fluke! Ah!! I just can't wait for her second week of lessons now!

Especially after she showed me that she can float ALL BY HERSELF NOW!!!! What?!! Is this real life?! All those nights in the bathtub have officially paid off! Yaaaaaaay Amelia!

 

And hiiiiii Little Baby! You're going to learn how to swim this winter too, so get ready My Love!

Day Two Thousand and Five

The Last Few Weeks!!

 

37 weeks, 5 days yesterday!

WE CAN'T WAIT TO MEE OUR BEEBEE!!

And the wait might actually be harder this time around. Our rainbow baby is coming into a family who so dearly desires to cherish them with every ounce of love we have and the passing days only make us want to meet them more. I'm having dream after dream about the delivery - my mind is constantly aware and thinking about our Babe. Most of that is due to the fact that this kid NEVER STOPS MOVING. Ever. Like, never ever! And the other part is that I'm just really excited to give birth at home and to finally hold our Little Surprise in my hands for the very first time. Choosing not to find out the gender has been so hard,  but after our ectopic experience with our second pregnancy and losing our baby, our only desire was to have a healthy baby. So finding out the gender didn't mean as much to us anymore. Plus, the suspense is INCREDIBLE. It's a kind you could never know unless you made this specific decision and we're so glad we have. The second we pull our baby out of the water and into our arms will be the best double surprise I can imagine experiencing. I just really am hoping it comes soon!! 

We treasure this Little Life so much already. Our Babe is a blessing, and answered prayer, and a gift that the Lord has so kindly given to us. We're counting down the days! We love you forever, Baby 2.

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A few stats:

Due date: March 25

Birthplace: Home!

Heartbeat: Super strong - 130s

Total weight gain: 20 lbs

Carrying: More out front than with Amelia 

Contractions: Tons of them!

Baby's position: Head down and low

Movements per 5 mins: As many as there are seconds ;)

Home preparation: Completed! Got our pool yesterday

Excitement level: Immeasurable

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Daddy update:

Adam is scheduled to pitch on Tuesday at home against the Tigers (if we're not giving birth!!). 1:10PM at Roger Dean. I think he'll probably pitch 4 innings. 

Day Nineteen Hundred and Ninety-Eight

The Away Visit. The Home Visit. 

 

"See down there, baby? You see'im?"

 

"Thas my Daddeey! Hi Daddeey! Pitch the ball! He's at beesboll! You see'im? Hi Daddeey!" 

 

"I love beesboll. My Daddeey pitches good and my Mommeey brings yummy snacks and tute (cute) sunglasses to the fe-old (field). Someone told me yesterday that I was going to be Miss America one day. I think they don't know me or my daddy cuz that ain't happening. I'll take one of those pouffy dresses though. I love dresses. My Daddeey did good at his game. He pitched the ball two innings and only threw 23 pitches. 16 for strikes. Which is mostly his goal this spring: to learn how to throw lots of pitches for strikes, so that in season - when he needs a pitch to count - he has the repertoire to do so. Look at me use big words! After his two innings, he threw more pitches in the bullpen to finish his day at the office and get more practice in. He told Mommeey that he's working a lot on his mechanics right now and doesn't quite feel right yet. Thankfully, that's what spring is for! Go Dada!"

2IP, 1H, 0R against the Mets

He pitches next at home on the backfields on Wednesday. After that, my best guess is that he'll throw 4 innings the following Monday in Port St. Lucie, but don't take my word for it yet because that's a loooooong ways away and just about anything can change by then. 

 

"Saving the best for last!! I listened to my Beebee yesterday after Daddy's game!! My Littol Beebee is 36 weeks old and has a heartbeat in the 130s right now! I get so SO excited every time I get to hear my Beebee! When we're at the birthing center, I get to hear my heartbeat too with the Doppler! But yesterday we were at home and Miss Maya came to visit us instead. She was making sure we have everything we need for our HOME BIRTH (!!!) coming up here soon! She said we're prepared and have everything we need - well, except the pool, but we're getting that at our appointment next week! Oh I can't wait! Mama's been having lots of contractions and sometimes it scares me because I don't like seeing her sad. Daddy says she isn't sad though, so hopefully he's right. Miss Maya said that my Littol Beebee is really low now and in great position to come out. My mama keeps saying she's so ready to meet my Beebee. I am too. And I really want Mommy to be more comfortable because I know she's not right now. Plus, she makes all sorts of gasping noises when I nurse now and doesn't let me nurse as long as I want to. I think it really stings her, so I want Beebee to come soon so that I can nurse like normal again. Plus, she has no milkie right now and that just has GOT to change. Yesterday, our midwife who came talked to Dada and Mama about staying safe and really being proactive about protecting her uterus this time. We're aiming for a shorter, more fluid labor, and one that doesn't have anything prolapsing! But if that's what does end up happening, then at least we'll be prepared for it. I love our midwives. So glad Mom found them! We're in the homestretch - her due date is the 25th - and I just can't wait to meet my Littol Beebee. It's going to be SO FUN and such a surprise finding out who's been hiding in Mom's belly all these months!! I love you Beebee!!!!! I'm your big sister!! Oh and just so Mama remembers, she's gained 20 pounds so far, but she says she's carried this baby way way different than she carried me. Apparently I was kicking her ribs all the time when I lived in there. This babe kicks outwards in her abdomen and doesn't spend any time in her ribs, which she's thankful for, but at the sane time, this kid keeps her up even more than I did because of all its movements! She said she loves Babe though. Let's be real. This babe is already just so easy to love! See you soon best friend! I looooove you!!!"

Day Nineteen Hundred and Ninety-Six

The Rainbow Sprinkle

 

Little Beebee is SO incredibly loved and cherished already. Whether Babe knows it or not yet, there's an army of women surrounding us everywhere we go, ready and prepared to encourage and support us however we need. I am honored to call these women friends and look forward to sharing my growing family with them this upcoming season and for years to come.  I can't wait for them to hold the child in my belly and experience the love and crazy energy this baby fills me with daily. Thank you ladies, for your generosity, your kindness, and your thoughtfulness. We are blessed that the Lord used baseball to bring each one of you specifically into our lives. 

 

Jilly and Ashely - mastermind party planners and tear jerkers. They decided on a "Sprinkle" theme - there were sprinkles everywhere - but then Ashley said something to me that made my heart stop in the sweetest way. She said, "we chose sprinkles because this is a baby sprinkle, plus it's gender neutral since you don't know what you're having. But the sprinkles are also rainbow colored - because this baby is your rainbow baby." Like, for real? I could cry. What a treasure she is to have thought of something so intimate and meaningful to say to me. Thank you ladies, for your thoughtfulness and attention to detail. I won't soon forget how much this sprinkle meant to me. Love you both so much. 

 

And I love you little ladies too!! Thanks for showing our Big Sister such a fun time!

 

My little carb princess back at it - her second round of pancakes while all the other girls played. That's my kid, that's for sure.

Day Nineteen Hundred and Eighty-Seven

The Sunday Morning Praiss

 

Yesterday marked the first day of a seven-month drought without Daddy at church. And something I'll never get used to. While I rushed around the house, preparing for our morning all alone - and really pregnant - I was constantly in prayer, petitioning the Lord to equip Amelia emotionally for the day ahead. For peace. For comfort. Because in the last month, she's not once let us drop her off at Sunday school without melting down into a pathetic mess of Mimi hyperventilation - her antics making it far more difficult than necessary to focus through our own class and service. But yesterday, behold! A smile! A three-hour long smile from her OWN Sunday school class, giving Mommy focus that she SO desperately needed! Absolutely, an answered prayer. 

Dad finally arrived home just in time for some family snuggles and some Amelia praise before we were back up and heading out to church again. 

 

 

This time, for a birthday celebration in honor of our pastor, whom we - and the rest of the church - so dearly love. We could never express clearly enough how blessed we are to be led by such a genuine, God-fearing shepherd and we thank the Lord daily for his mercy and grace in bringing us to Community Baptist. We've already grown so much under his teaching and are encouraged unlike ever before about our future under his care. His conviction regarding the authority of Scripture and the desire to preach only Truth - verse by verse - is radical and so unbelievably refreshing. 

 

We love you Pastor Phillip!!

Happy birthday!

Day Nineteen Hundred and Eighty-Six

The Sprinkle

The last 35 weeks of our lives have been marked by incredible change through an even more incredible blessing. God has been kind to us in the most generous of ways. I've yet to be completely transparent these past eight months through my writing because, well, there's a lot to say and a lot of emotion and feelings I've been working through. I wasn't sure when it would come that I'd open up more, but since the following photos are the only ones I took yesterday, I think it's the perfect time. Over the past year, I've been trying to piece my words together and honestly, they've just not come easily. And it's only been over the last month that I've given myself any grace over it. I started writing a blog post - that's still not finished - over 6 months ago and the internal frustration I've experienced over it has rendered me silent. This was not my intention. The reality my family and friends have shared together since July has been nothing short of blissful, but what came before that is what has given me pause in this particular setting. I don't know how to appropriately mourn the loss of one child while celebrating the life of another on a public forum when my words won't defend my feelings with the kind of justice they deserve. So, instead, I chose not to write. Not at least until I was met with the proper time and I guess that time is now. And so, over the course of the next week, I'll publicly make it my own mission to share with you my heart. Because that's what I do desire. And now that Adam has started spring training, I'll at least have more time to sit in front of my words. Which I know will offer relief, encouragement, excitement, and probably a list of other emotions that I'm ready to confront. 

In February of 2016, Adam and I lost our second baby. Simultaneously, I almost lost my life to the ectopic pregnancy when my tube ruptured on a flight to Denver. But praise God, He chose to extend my days and four months later, we were honored and blessed with the news of our third child. 

This child has brought us more joy than we could've ever imagined. And we haven't even met Baby yet. Whomever is inside my belly has bonded Adam, Amelia, and I with such strength, has carried us to new truths, and has propelled our faith to places we didn't know existed. I am SO ready to meet this perfect child God has entrusted to us and my desire is that they someday realize just how deeply they've impacted our lives already. Even through my absence in writing it down. 

Yesterday, my girlfriends threw Amelia and I a beautiful shower in celebration of our new baby. It was the perfect time. 

Beebee! Beebee shower? Beebee Mama's tummy!

Oh my heart. 

I can't wait to share the fullness of Amelia's days now - she's the most maternal, precious, loving big sister I've ever met. And she is ready to meet her Beebee. 

The girls who've been by my side through it all. I love you each so dearly. Thank you for showering me with such encouragement, love, humility, and grace over the past year. 

And thank YOU for being so good to Mommy, sweet BabyGirl. You are so completely easy to love and I know your Beebee will feel the same. 

I can't wait to see you in your new role, Sissy. You're going to love it!!

My heart couldn't be more full. 

I am more excited than ever for our family. We are ready to meet our newest Babe and as the days go by, the anticipation builds exponentially. I can't wait to hold you in my hands and love you with a love I can't even comprehend yet. It gives me butterflies just thinking about it. You are precious in a deeply personal and emotional way to me and I look forward with great joy to love you well. To love you individually and fully and with ease. Because you are - and always have been - so easy to love. 

 

Thank you again, Channing and Brandi, for hosting such a sweet shower, filled with friendship, fellowship, laughter, and sincerity. I love you and appreciate your labor of love more than you know. 

 

From the Mama and the Sissy:

WE CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU BEEBEE!!