Day 2,114

The Ninth Baby Cake Start

I swore to the cashier that I was a good mom as she watched my toddler puke all over herself in the checkout line yesterday. "No, she's not sick, ma'am. She was eating pretzels while simultaneously applying her 'lap stick' and shoved the tube of chopstick down her throat on accident. Yes ma'am, she knows that chapstick is to be applied on the outside of her mouth. No ma'am, she knows exactly where her lips are, she just really likes sucking and biting on things and when I stopped the cart suddenly, it jabbed the back of her throat. Yes ma'am, a bag for all her soiled clothes would be great. Oh, some wet wipes would be great too. You may need to have someone rinse this cart off better. Sorry. Thanks!" 

I should've also told her that I don't normally feed my kid boxed Sprinkle cake either, but by the time I was done explaining what happened, more explanations would've probably sealed my fate. So I just shut up. 

The cake was for this old guy. Uncle Trent turned 30 two days ago, so we picked Auntie Brandi up a cake for her to make him for his big milestone. 

She is impossibly cute! My heart. I love you so much, Pretty Girl!!

After a cozy day at home and with a special visit from Mrs. Tawnyia, we were feeling challenged and spurred forward. I told Adam yesterday that I didn't feel like I'd conquered the test put before me in NOLA. My emotions continue getting the best of me and baseball has proven to be an idol in my life. I didn't realize it before all this had happened or before Mrs. Tawnyia helped me to realize just how much I find my personal value in this game. While there's room to give myself grace for the circumstances I was faced with there (living in a hotel for 6 weeks with two babes IS difficult), my heart remained/remains hardened to where the Lord has us right now. And instead of conforming to His will, I was and have been completely content throwing a fit every time Adam pitched poorly. 

Well yesterday, I was given another chance to respond differently. To respond obediently. To say "your will be done, not mine." Adam's results were again, not good. He mentioned today that he made a lot of progress, but didn't realize it until after his start. And so, while the runs kept coming in and his ERA kept going up, I made the choice to shepherd my heart. To remind myself of the Gospel. To remind myself that this is where the Lord has us. That I need to crush this idol and repent. That I'm saved. That it doesn't matter in the end if he pitches for 10 years or 10 more days in the Big Leagues. It really doesn't. This life is an eye blink in the face of eternity. And if I love and trust and glory my Lord above all else, then whatever He has for me is whatever I should want. Adam heard a pastor pray this prayer once and ever since, it's stuck with him:

"Help me to mean it when I say,

Lord, fill me with your Spirit. 

Make me like the Christ. 

I'm at your disposal."

I want to be a woman defined by her love and obedience and trust and contentment in the Lord before anything else. Help me to mean that, God. 

"If I look at the world, I will conform to the ways of the world. If I look at the Word, I will conform to the will of God."

-AW Tozer

5IP, 8H, 5R, 2BB, 2K, ND