Day 2,240

The Day We Became Five

At 7:22 last night, our lives changed forever. 

Adam and I sat in the foyer of our church with tears in our eyes, having just ended a 17 minute phone call with a judge in Washington State. It was finally official.

We hugged each other tight and ran outside to find our son.

Bearett John Conley.

A new name. A new family. A new hope.

And our new son. Our new brother. Our number 5.

Thank you, Lord.

Thank you. Oh, thank you.

We've been praying over this transition ever since the conversation came up with my precious, sacrificial, and selfless sister, in mid-August. But we've been praying over this boy for much much longer than that. From the moment we were given the news of his life in my sister's womb, we were committed to doing whatever we could to help raise him into a faithful man one day. We've not stopped this pursuit nor this prayer. And we never will. 

Bearett, our son,

You've brought an immeasurable amount of joy into our lives already and we cannot wait to spend the rest of our days leading you and protecting you, covering you and teaching you, nourishing you, playing with you, praying with you, guiding you, serving you, delighting in you. And most of all, showing you the sweet love of Christ and raising you in Truth. We've had the privilege of watching you grow up from afar over the past four years, but now we have the greatest honor of welcoming you into our family - into the most intimate and closely bonded group of people I will ever know. And sweet boy, we desperately want you to be apart of that. Our desire is that you always recognize and understand the love that binds you to us - that it's a tiny sliver of the Greatest Love that binds us to our Savior. And that love is unchanging. Unwavering. Forever. Perfect. It's a love that rescued your Daddy and I into God's family and made us sons and heirs through adoption. Yes, baby. Even we are adopted too. And that Truth is what we have given our entire lives to. It's a Truth that we pray will one day set you free. That will give you a peace unlike any other. That will adopt you for a second time. 

Bearett, we offer you everything we have. Everything we know. Everything we will ever attain. We give you our word. We give you our name. We give you our hearts. 

We will love you with the same fervent love that we pour over our girls. 

We will lead you with the same intensity and seriousness, respect and delight.

We will celebrate your achievements. We will mourn your regrets.

We promise to walk you through each in grace and humility, constantly pointing you back to Christ and the Truth we live our lives by. We will be fair. We will be honest. We will encourage you and rebuke you. We will give you rest. We will give you fun. Lots of fun. We will show you what a faithful man looks like. And a faithful woman too. We will do what we say we'll do. Always. 

You will witness a marriage that points you to Jesus. One that is rich in love. One that is defined by servanthood. Truth. Forgiveness. Loyalty. Humility. Sacrifice. Contentment. We will show you what it means to be a man and will lead you to become one who is honorable in all his pursuits. We pray you grow to trust us and understand how loved you truly are. How much you mean to us. And that though you came into our family through our hearts, you're just as much apart of the Conley Five as anyone else.

Bear, your daddy has always wanted a son. He's heart's desire is to raise a boy into a man in a world that's marked by a tremendous lack of faithful men. He's prayed for a son. He's prayed for your life for a very long time. And the Lord, in his mercy, has answered both. Bearett, we serve SUCH a great God!! Watching Dad lead you has been one of the sweetest blessings of my life. He looks at you with great determination. Great responsibility. Great care. And great love. He looks forward already, to the day you can, Lord willing, sharpen each other in faith. To the day he can watch you lead your own family. He's excited to teach you how to hunt and fish and shoot guns and build Legos and drive trucks. He's ready to take you to the field and teach you all he knows about the game he's loved since he was your age. He's willing to do all the little things and all the big things - anything and everything it'll take to give you the tools you need to become a faithful man. He'll work you hard. He'll expect great things. And I will too. Because you, Bearett, are one uniquely special young man. You're our boy. And we will do all we can to give you an environment in which you'll flourish in. 

So, come, Bearett. 

Come live a life alongside us.

Come. Bring your joys and your sorrows.

Bring your doubts and your fears.

Bring your love, your cheers, your smiles, your tears. 

Come, Bear Bear. Come learn and come play. Come with your dreams and your plans. 

We promise to meet you where you are.

We promise not to leave you there though.

Come with us Bearett. 

Come travel. Come rest. Come experience this beautiful, imperfect, and wildly cherished life with us. 

We want you. We need you. We love you so much, son.

"But when the fullness of time came, God sent forth his son, born of a woman, born under the Law, so that he might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons."

- Galatians 4:4-5

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I want to thank all of you who've shown us such grace and understanding over the past few months. It's taken an extreme amount of effort, time, focus, and intentionality to get to where we are now, and we've had to make many sacrifices to do so. Thank you to all those who've been praying over our adoption plans as they've unfolded before us since August. The Lord has been so clear in leading us in this direction and has provided us a sweet peace and rest all along. Thank you to Susan, who took our first family photos - they're beautiful. Thank you to all of you who've been praying over Bearett's life - ever since we learned about his tiny existence five years ago. Thank you to our family, who's loved and cared and nurtured Bearett alongside my sister the last four years. And mostly, thank you Morgan. You are an unsung hero who deserves to be praised for the bravery, care, responsibility, and ownership you showed in first birthing your son and then trusting us to raise him. The world offers other pursuits that would've compromised so many lives in this endeavor and we thank you for faithfully raising Bearett to the best of your abilities over the last four years, even when it wasn't easy. Even when the world gave you other options. You've done an incredible job with the skills you have and we're beyond proud of you. You've given us the greatest gift and I don't know how we'll ever repay you, other than by loving Bearett truly as our own. He will grow up knowing just how selfless you are and recognizing all the sacrifices you made in order to get us to where we are now. Thank you, dear sister. Thank you.

October 31 remains such a near and dear day to this Conley family. It was five years ago on this day that my father died - a death that is marked by so much hope and joy and answered prayer. We miss him and love him dearly, but are hopeful that he's singing the Lord's praises with his Father in Heaven even now. It was two years ago on this day that Adam and I received the keys to our first home. A home that we've prayed would exude peace and family and the Love of Christ. A home like the one I entered all those years ago that led me to questions about salvation and Jesus and how to obtain the kind of peace there that I'd never experienced before in my entire life. And then yesterday. October 31, 2017. The day we called Bearett, "Son." The day we became a family of five. The day we opened our home and our hearts to a boy that we'd been praying for for so long. I'm in awe of the Lord's providence and how clear it is now looking back, that this was his perfect plan all along. We are so excited about our family of five and looking forward with great expectation to the future. We love you Bearett. And we will obediently lead you in grace, love, sacrifice, and humility, as we raise you as our own.

Happy "Fall Festival" 2017!

We will be celebrating this extra-special day for all the years to come!