Day Fifteen Hundred and Sixty-Two

The Ray of Hope

Yesterday, Adam, Amelia, and I drove down south near Fort Lauderdale for an outreach event alongside a few of his teammates.  Invited by the Vernon Carey Foundation - an organization established by a member of the Miami Dolphins - various athletes were each paired with a child in need, given $300, and asked to take the children on a shopping spree!

After a group photo, the athletes were lined up on one side and the children on the other. One by one, the two were paired. 

And by God's mercy and grace, we were blessed with the privilege of shopping with Ray.

When we asked Ray what he was looking forward to spending his money on, quietly he whispered, "Zoomer Dino." Not having ever heard of such a thing, we looked Zoomer up and discovered him to be a remote controlled dinosaur. We searched and searched the mall directory, but unfortunately, there were no toy stores located in the mall. He wouldn't be getting a Zoomer Dino yesterday. Ray looked a bit hurt by the bad news. It was in that moment my heart began to beat for this sweet boy.

But staring us right in the face was the beginning of our saving grace. A kiosk with several remote controlled drones and cars! Adam and Ray went right over to it and explored all the options. It wasn't Zoomer, but it was remote controlled and super cool, and for the first time since meeting him, we witnessed a faint smile form across his face.

We purchased a picture-taking drone and placed it in the stroller. 

It was a sweet start to what would turn into a life changing evening.

I'm sure if you took an 11-year-old boy on a shopping spree at Toys 'R Us, decisions wouldn't be very hard to make. Every kid loves toys. But after buying the drone, we didn't really have many ideas. He didn't either. But then I noticed his shoes. He needs new ones. We asked him what he thought about maybe getting some brand new sneakers. He was hesitant at first, but after a little coaxing and a few "are you sure's," he excitedly shook his head YES! 

At this point, we still hadn't learned his name.

Ray is quite shy, very reserved and humble. He walks with his head down and talks toward the ground. My heart beat faster and faster with each passing store, but it was here that I got the idea to ask him if he had a nickname. He'd told us his name twice before, but we couldn't understand him. And so, I snuggled up real close to him as he whispered, "Well, my two sisters call me RayRay, but most people just call me Ray."

RAY.

Oh my heart.

Over the next hour, we got to know more and more about pieces of Ray's story. He loves football (he's a wide receiver), reading fairy tales like Jack and the Beanstalk, playing video games, babies, and being alone. He told us that he gets to see his sisters sometimes, and that he loves them, but that they're in different houses than him. Ray is a foster child. So are they. Split up a while ago to increase their individual opportunities of being adopted.

The point I realized this boy had my heart was just moments before he answered yes to us asking if he'd like to hold Amelia. Adam was paying for his gifts in Sears - a portable DVD player, a movie, a remote controlled car, and a red Star Wars watch to match his shoes - and I asked him if he was sure that he didn't want anything else. "Would you like some clothes to match your shoes and new watch," I asked. Are you sure, he replied.

And then we were out shopping for an outfit. 

We found a red and black pair of shorts that looked a little big. I told him to grab my shoulders and step into them, just so we could see - something I remember so vividly my mom doing for me when I was younger. When he stepped into them and as I pulled them up to his waist, his little t-shirt came up and I saw his belly button. It was then that I felt this connection with him - like I was helping to dress and clothe my own child. It took everything in me not to cry.

We bought Ray those shorts, a shirt, a new pair of jeans, and a button-down shirt because he told us that he likes to look nice. I wish I could see him in his new outfit so badly.

We walked out of Sears much different than we walked in. I had my arm around his shoulder and Adam was standing by his side. Ray's head was up. He was smiling. A much different smile than we met him with. It was time to part ways with our little Ray, but before we could say goodbye, we found a bench in the middle of the food court and asked him to sit with us. We told him how glad and happy and thankful we were that he was the one God chose to pair us with. We told him about how special he was and how worthy he is of love and care. And since it was a "Holiday" shopping spree, we asked him if he knew the reason we celebrate Christmas. He said, "We celebrate because it's Jesus' birthday. He's the one who came to save us from our sins and die on the cross so that we could go to Heaven. I know him." 

Our hearts were exploding.

We reminded him in that moment that even when he feels most alone, that Jesus is always always there for him. That Jesus knows exactly how he feels. That Jesus felt alone and that people didn't always like him. And that if he depended on Jesus, God would get him through even the toughest of times. To that he said, "It's like, if you've got Jesus, you get the whole Wal Mart to yourself. But if you don't, then you only get to sit outside." 

Amen, Ray. Amen. 

Please be praying for us as we consider all the possibilities involving Ray and our family in the future. We don't know yet what that will look like, but for the first time ever in our lives, we left a child with a piece of our hearts that we'll never get back. In our four years of marriage, Adam and I have spoken briefly about the potential of adopting a child, but yesterday, yesterday brought something to us that we were never ever expecting when he accepted the invite to the charity event. Turns out, we were the ones being served through the foundation.

God is faithful and we'll be praying His will be done in this.

Until then (whatever then is), Whitacre and Amelia will be standing sitting by, awaiting the arrival of any new friends.

Errrr, scratch that scratch.

Amelia will, in fact, be standing. 

Well actually, she'll be dancing.

Yes, she'll be dancing by.
And hoping that maybe Ray will grab her hands and dance along too.

GLORY TO THE NEWBORN KING.