Day One Hundred and Ninety-Two

The Master Chef

It's 10:30 PM over here, and yes, the kitchen is still open for business! The chef's late night specialty? PB&Js. You bet. Every night before bed, Adam downs this hearty meal, prepared with precision skill. One wrong ingredient, and he's an unhappy camper. He'll seriously complain over it. Some things I've overheard him say in the past go a little something like this: "It feels like I'm eating chalk" and "Those little strawberry chunks are disgusting" and "That jelly's too runny" and on and on. So, I've perfected the recipe. And in preparation for my eventual absence someday, one of y'all will need this vital how-to to keep him satisfied. Here goes:

It all starts with the bread. You have to get this right or he'll go on with the complaints. Farmhouse HONEY Wheat bread is where it's at. It's gotta be Honey. And it's gotta be Wheat. No exceptions. And don't ever make the mistake of grabbing Farmhouse's Oatmeal bread instead. You'll never hear the end of it. Also, he likes the bread chilled in the refrigerator; that's where we store it. Chilled Honey Wheat. Don't get it wrong.

Then comes the peanut butter. Your biggest mistake would be to spread the PB on only ONE piece of bread. Don't do that. You must spread it on BOTH pieces. It makes the jelly more gooey. Trust me. Also, he prefers either Jiff or Skippy, but smooth, not crunchy.

Finally the jam. Similar to the bread, this is of great importance. Absolutely, never, not ever, should you put chunky jelly onto his sandwich. If it has any tiny pieces of those wretched slimy berries in it, do yourself a favor and just prepare him a steak instead. Even I agree that they're gross. Ugh. Also, the squeeze bottles of Smuckers are far too runny for his preference. When half the sandwich is slurped up from the palm of your hand, something's not right. Go with Smuckers Seedless Strawberry Jam. Smear it generously over ONE piece of the peanut buttered bread, making sure to mix it in with the peanut butter in the process. The consistency should be a bit goopy once you've thrown the knife into the sink. Slap those two pieces of bread together and ta-da! Perfection. Serve on a paper towel with a full glass of 1% chocolate milk, preferably Publix brand, and you've got yourself one satisfied customer. And for almost 1,000 calories, this is a great bed time snack for absolutely NOBODY! Don't even think about it. (I'm thinking about it. Gosh, they sure do taste good.)

On a different note: I started P90X yesterday. Holy smokes, I never expected to be this tired! Such good workouts so far!