Day 2,240

The Day We Became Five

At 7:22 last night, our lives changed forever. 

Adam and I sat in the foyer of our church with tears in our eyes, having just ended a 17 minute phone call with a judge in Washington State. It was finally official.

We hugged each other tight and ran outside to find our son.

Bearett John Conley.

A new name. A new family. A new hope.

And our new son. Our new brother. Our number 5.

Thank you, Lord.

Thank you. Oh, thank you.

We've been praying over this transition ever since the conversation came up with my precious, sacrificial, and selfless sister, in mid-August. But we've been praying over this boy for much much longer than that. From the moment we were given the news of his life in my sister's womb, we were committed to doing whatever we could to help raise him into a faithful man one day. We've not stopped this pursuit nor this prayer. And we never will. 

Bearett, our son,

You've brought an immeasurable amount of joy into our lives already and we cannot wait to spend the rest of our days leading you and protecting you, covering you and teaching you, nourishing you, playing with you, praying with you, guiding you, serving you, delighting in you. And most of all, showing you the sweet love of Christ and raising you in Truth. We've had the privilege of watching you grow up from afar over the past four years, but now we have the greatest honor of welcoming you into our family - into the most intimate and closely bonded group of people I will ever know. And sweet boy, we desperately want you to be apart of that. Our desire is that you always recognize and understand the love that binds you to us - that it's a tiny sliver of the Greatest Love that binds us to our Savior. And that love is unchanging. Unwavering. Forever. Perfect. It's a love that rescued your Daddy and I into God's family and made us sons and heirs through adoption. Yes, baby. Even we are adopted too. And that Truth is what we have given our entire lives to. It's a Truth that we pray will one day set you free. That will give you a peace unlike any other. That will adopt you for a second time. 

Bearett, we offer you everything we have. Everything we know. Everything we will ever attain. We give you our word. We give you our name. We give you our hearts. 

We will love you with the same fervent love that we pour over our girls. 

We will lead you with the same intensity and seriousness, respect and delight.

We will celebrate your achievements. We will mourn your regrets.

We promise to walk you through each in grace and humility, constantly pointing you back to Christ and the Truth we live our lives by. We will be fair. We will be honest. We will encourage you and rebuke you. We will give you rest. We will give you fun. Lots of fun. We will show you what a faithful man looks like. And a faithful woman too. We will do what we say we'll do. Always. 

You will witness a marriage that points you to Jesus. One that is rich in love. One that is defined by servanthood. Truth. Forgiveness. Loyalty. Humility. Sacrifice. Contentment. We will show you what it means to be a man and will lead you to become one who is honorable in all his pursuits. We pray you grow to trust us and understand how loved you truly are. How much you mean to us. And that though you came into our family through our hearts, you're just as much apart of the Conley Five as anyone else.

Bear, your daddy has always wanted a son. He's heart's desire is to raise a boy into a man in a world that's marked by a tremendous lack of faithful men. He's prayed for a son. He's prayed for your life for a very long time. And the Lord, in his mercy, has answered both. Bearett, we serve SUCH a great God!! Watching Dad lead you has been one of the sweetest blessings of my life. He looks at you with great determination. Great responsibility. Great care. And great love. He looks forward already, to the day you can, Lord willing, sharpen each other in faith. To the day he can watch you lead your own family. He's excited to teach you how to hunt and fish and shoot guns and build Legos and drive trucks. He's ready to take you to the field and teach you all he knows about the game he's loved since he was your age. He's willing to do all the little things and all the big things - anything and everything it'll take to give you the tools you need to become a faithful man. He'll work you hard. He'll expect great things. And I will too. Because you, Bearett, are one uniquely special young man. You're our boy. And we will do all we can to give you an environment in which you'll flourish in. 

So, come, Bearett. 

Come live a life alongside us.

Come. Bring your joys and your sorrows.

Bring your doubts and your fears.

Bring your love, your cheers, your smiles, your tears. 

Come, Bear Bear. Come learn and come play. Come with your dreams and your plans. 

We promise to meet you where you are.

We promise not to leave you there though.

Come with us Bearett. 

Come travel. Come rest. Come experience this beautiful, imperfect, and wildly cherished life with us. 

We want you. We need you. We love you so much, son.

"But when the fullness of time came, God sent forth his son, born of a woman, born under the Law, so that he might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons."

- Galatians 4:4-5

_________________

I want to thank all of you who've shown us such grace and understanding over the past few months. It's taken an extreme amount of effort, time, focus, and intentionality to get to where we are now, and we've had to make many sacrifices to do so. Thank you to all those who've been praying over our adoption plans as they've unfolded before us since August. The Lord has been so clear in leading us in this direction and has provided us a sweet peace and rest all along. Thank you to Susan, who took our first family photos - they're beautiful. Thank you to all of you who've been praying over Bearett's life - ever since we learned about his tiny existence five years ago. Thank you to our family, who's loved and cared and nurtured Bearett alongside my sister the last four years. And mostly, thank you Morgan. You are an unsung hero who deserves to be praised for the bravery, care, responsibility, and ownership you showed in first birthing your son and then trusting us to raise him. The world offers other pursuits that would've compromised so many lives in this endeavor and we thank you for faithfully raising Bearett to the best of your abilities over the last four years, even when it wasn't easy. Even when the world gave you other options. You've done an incredible job with the skills you have and we're beyond proud of you. You've given us the greatest gift and I don't know how we'll ever repay you, other than by loving Bearett truly as our own. He will grow up knowing just how selfless you are and recognizing all the sacrifices you made in order to get us to where we are now. Thank you, dear sister. Thank you.

October 31 remains such a near and dear day to this Conley family. It was five years ago on this day that my father died - a death that is marked by so much hope and joy and answered prayer. We miss him and love him dearly, but are hopeful that he's singing the Lord's praises with his Father in Heaven even now. It was two years ago on this day that Adam and I received the keys to our first home. A home that we've prayed would exude peace and family and the Love of Christ. A home like the one I entered all those years ago that led me to questions about salvation and Jesus and how to obtain the kind of peace there that I'd never experienced before in my entire life. And then yesterday. October 31, 2017. The day we called Bearett, "Son." The day we became a family of five. The day we opened our home and our hearts to a boy that we'd been praying for for so long. I'm in awe of the Lord's providence and how clear it is now looking back, that this was his perfect plan all along. We are so excited about our family of five and looking forward with great expectation to the future. We love you Bearett. And we will obediently lead you in grace, love, sacrifice, and humility, as we raise you as our own.

Happy "Fall Festival" 2017!

We will be celebrating this extra-special day for all the years to come!

Day 2,208

The "Holy Spirit" Builder

Yeah for new pjs!!!

And for kisses too! Bed time is always so cozy around here. 

And surprise! Adam threw an inning out of the pen last night a bit unexpectedly. Apparently his manager had mentioned that he wanted Adam to get another inning or so in order to leave season better than his last start. And well, he pitched a clean inning and ended up getting the W. So, yeah, we'll take it!

My favorite part of the night though...

"Amelia, what are you making?" I asked. 

As matter of factly as possible she said, "I'm making the Holy Spirit, Mom."

Bahahahahahaha. I was first shocked that she even knew the words Holy Spirit, and then I was busting up laughing because of how serious she was when she said it. This girl, guys. So smart. So funny. Check out her "Holy Spirit." And when Bearett broke it in half, she cried, "Mom!!! Bearett just broke my Holy Spirit!!" Haha I can't even. So funny! Not even close to understanding the meaning, but I'm thankful she even knows the words. God is so good. 

Day 2,198

The Exhausted Mom

Lego family. Because: I had to. 

Yesterday, the kids made every single mess they could, gave me every bit of grief they owned, and by night's end, had me about to my breaking point. Good thing Dad's game only went into one extra inning and came home in the nick of time. And good thing too that these babes are irresistibly adorable. 

If I could've just had someone carry me around like this all day - or at least even for an hour - my sanity may have remained in tact. They oughta invent a grown up version. 

I got a small break at nap time. Only, Amelia decided half way through that my lap was actually a better pillow than the one on her bed, so my alone time was too, cut short. Good thing I can read, write, and act as a pillow quietly and still achieve my goal of sanity preservation. Daily time in the Word provides me just that. Thank you, Jesus. 

Then, just like we do every night when he's not home, we made our 6:30 Dada call and got all fired back up for the evening hours. He's our best. We can't wait to have him home. 

And then, packing began. I can't count on one hand how many times I've done this this year. Looking forward to using an actual dresser at some point. This mama is absolutely, incredibly exhausted. Can ya tell?!!

Day 2,136

The Full Days

Mama is sleepy. I must rest. 

Day 2,111

The Big Sis in Action

 

Big Sis likes to clap clap clap Baby Sissy's hands. Baby Sissy thinks she's hilarious!

 

She likes to snuggle Baby Sissy too. I catch her holding onto her Baby all throughout the day and even when she's fast asleep. It makes my heart fill with such joy to watch her love grow for Ella Mae. 

She's got the biggest smile of anyone I know and she's just such a pleasure to be around. 

  

I'm so thankful she's the one Baby Sissy gets to look up to. What a sweet gift we've all been given. 

 

I mean, seriously, even the police want an excuse to be around her. They'll pull us over for expired tags (in a RENTAL car - thanks Enterprise) just so they can share a grin. 

 

And maybe my favorite picture of her and Daddy of all  time, just to cap it off. Love this girl. And I love her love for her family and friends. And especially her Bible. 

Day Nineteen Hundred and Thirty-Nine

The Resonate Conference 2017

 

Isn't he just the cutest?! Oh my heart! I could stare at him all day long and not get tired of it. Though, I would prefer it in person and not from 3,000 miles away on FaceTime. But the Lord called him to a quick - REALLY quick - trip back to Washington to speak at a Christian conference instead. And so, he left Tuesday morning at 6AM and arrived in Bellevue, WA at 4PM, got a bite to eat and headed to the Resonate Conference, where about 400 alumni of Resonate Church (our college church) gathered to worship Christ and to share how the Lord is opening up new opportunities to take the Gospel to unreached college campuses across the Pacific Northwest. 

He's been a busy man ever since arriving - he didn't get to bed until 1 AM Washington time last night, was up early again this morning, and has a red eye flight tonight with my 3 year old nephew back home. It's been a whirlwind for him and he's exhausted, but the Lord is so obviously at work in the ministry of Resonate and in Adam that it's been every bit worth it. We're excited to get him back tomorrow, but so humbled and grateful that he was able to serve in this capacity. 

Below is a link to the conference stream they recorded today (Wednesday). If you scroll to 1 hour and 24 minutes (1:24:00), you can listen to Adam give testimony to what the Lord has done in his life since becoming a Christian and leaving our college church Resonate. What an incredible God we serve. Please listen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLDqwqSwjZ0

Day Nineteen Hundred and Fourteen

The Bedtime Routine 

Bible stories.

Tired eyes.

Big yawny faces.

That can only mean two things:

Say your prayers.

Go night night.

Deaw Jesus,

I yuv you. Dee doo fow mye faliy. Dee doo fow day. Teetch me fallow You.

AMEEN!

(Dear Jesus,

I love you. Thank you for my family. Thank you for today. Teach me to follow You

Amen!)

Day Nineteen Hundred and Six

The Walk in Obedience

Amelia woke up feeling - and looking - like a million bucks...her fever/sickness miraculously vanishing in 36 hours. Thank you Jesus - we were so grateful. Yesterday, Adam and I were able to attend much of the conference together, leaving Amelia with the sitter we hired for the week. She did well, though we ended up keeping her for some time as a family of three while Adam was invited to record a special interview narrating his experience of the days leading up to and directly after Jose's death...and how the Lord used such a tragic reality to both bring people together and to bring glory to His name.

The Lord is so good.

So faithful.

So true.

The change so easily witnessed in Adam from the day he decided to trust God with his life is obvious. And it's encouraging. And it's bold. With such tenacity in the pursuit of the One who gave him life, Christ has taken a recklessly hopeless boy of this world and morphed him into a recklessly obedient man of God. He's unrecognizable from six years ago. And it's solely by the grace of God. I am so emboldened by Adam's faith and praise the Lord for bringing into my life, a man that will daily lead me to the feet of my Savior.

Jesus, thank you for new life.

"You have made us new, now life begins with You!"

Day Eighteen Hundred and Ninety-One

The Act of Obedience

Adam was asked to speak for the booster club at Jupiter Christian School last night and gladly, he sat down with them and shared what was on his heart (Mimi too!). I'm continually encouraged by the way Adam desires more of the Lord's Truth and his increasing capacity of sharing that Truth with others. He speaks so eloquently and with a refreshing urgency that both gently rebukes and sternly directs. It's been such an enriching season of growth in his understanding of scripture, God's will, and the specific gifts that he's been given and we praise God for every opportunity to share the Truth of Christ. We pray always that lives would be impacted eternally through Adam's obedience to God's leading and absolutely, for more opportunities to share.

Day Eighteen Hundred and Forty-Four

The Greatest Gift

Jose Fernandez

#16 Forever.

"God is our refuge and strength; an ever present help in times of trouble." Psalm 46:1

The reality of our new reality still seems distant. A dream. A nightmare of the worst kind. It's been five days since I received one of the most devastating phone calls of my life. She was begging on the other side of the phone that this was a joke. That it couldn't be real. That it was a mistake. There are no words at a time like that. Only the most painful kind of tears. 

As I stared at the scene outside his funeral service yesterday, my tired mind went to so many places. In just four years of us meeting him, he had amassed a legacy that is undeniable. From a little boy dreaming in Cuba to a big boy living the dream in America. You couldn't script his life if you tried.

It was spring 2012 when I met Jose at the beginning of our first minor league season.

He spoke with Adam in Greensboro, NC, asking him if I would meet his fiancé at our apartment complex to give her his keys and welcome her into minor league life. The team was at the field and Jose couldn't be there when she arrived. Meeting me there, he thought, would at least give her some comfort. So gracious. A gorgeous woman stepped out of the car with a little bit better than broken English. Little did I know, this precious girl from Uruguay would change my life forever. 

We spent that entire first season together. Jose and Ale, Adam and me. The two boys traveled together. The two girls traveled together. Them on a bus. Us in her car. On the road, they were roommates. When they were gone, we were roommates - snuggled up in my bed because we were too scared to sleep alone. It was in the early summer days of 2012 that the Lord brought into my life, a girl that would never leave it. And actually, it took just less than a week to realize what a special bond we shared. She began teaching me more about myself than I ever considered, and I was right there for her while she waded the waters of a fresh, young engagement. So many things were new to her. So many things were new to me. I wanted to help her in ways I could never help someone before. Adam and I were newlyweds with a heart for young couples and a passion for Christ that made us open and available to their growing relationship of four years. Over countless meals and road trips, we spoke to them about marriage and life and baseball and family. It came so easy. And it's so clear to me now that the Lord has been at work all this time.

Because of Jose, I have Alejandra.

The greatest gift and friendship I've received through baseball.

And in order to have given me someone so dear, so pure, so kindhearted and gentle, someone so spontaneous and charismatic, you have to be a person so easy to love. And that's exactly what Jose was. He was a person so easy to love. And though he's made me so angry and bitter and resentful and disheartened, it's only because of how easy it was for Alejandra to love him. And how easy it was for me to love her. 

I could never thank him enough for bringing her into my life.

Though our days of Jose, Ale, Adam, and Kendall were numbered, the days of Ale and Kendall are not. And that's because of him. At the end of that first season, we said goodbye and come 2013, things were never the same. I maintained close contact with Ale that offseason, but that next Spring Training, she didn't come. My heart broke for them. My heart broke for me. He went to Miami alone, Adam and I went to Jacksonville. And to be honest, baseball has never quite been the same since then. 

We watched Jose from afar those next two years. Living his dream and finding much success.

It was weird not having him around. Not having her around. But I never left her side. Now I wish he felt like we never left his side either. As I reflect on what could've been, I am met with a twinge of regret. I think that's natural. "Is there something I could've done? Something I could've said," and although there probably was something each of us could've done or said, the truth is that none of us can change the moment of our passing. That's the Lord's realm. It's in His hands. 

And it's so clear to me that there was great purpose in his passing. 

A man so young, so vibrant, so full of potential and love. Curiosity. Passion. He was the epitome of the American Dream. Someone everyone could relate to. From the bottom to the top he rose, breaking down barriers that seemed unfathomable. He had help along the way - much of it through the love of Ale and his family - but what he achieved was unique to the specific gifts God had given him. For a specific purpose. You can't just "get" his fastball. Or the feel of his curveball. Or his tenacity. Or his charisma or charm. That's given by the Giver of Life himself. God so uniquely designed Jose to reach an audience that maybe no other baseball player ever has. And it was a strikingly large audience. And it was a strikingly particular audience. 

All over the country - and even the world - news of Jose's death was a gut-wrenching punch. It made me want to vomit. But because of how special he was - how sometimes controversial and always entertaining he was - God was able to use him in a way that so clearly pointed to the truth of God himself. 

I can't make this stuff up:

A week before his passing, Jose attended baseball chapel for the very first time. One day before he died, he attended baseball mass for the very first time. We were told that on that day, the gospel was spoken plainly. JESUS! Sunday was supposed to be Jose's day to pitch. It was his fifth day. But because Adam was ready to come off the disabled list, they pushed back his start to Monday so that Jose could both have an extra day of rest and pitch the last game of the season. JESUS. On the day of his death, it was Ichiro Day at Marlins Park, which was a day to honor Ichiro's great achievement of 3,000 career hits. "Ichi" in Japanese is the number 1. "Ro" in Japanese is the number 6. Ichiro Day: 16 Day. JoseDay. JESUS. Sunday's game was cancelled. On Monday, Adam took the mound in place of what should have been Jose's mound that night. Adam and Jose were from the same draft class - first pick and second pick. They were roommates in Greensboro. They were promoted to Jupiter on the same day. Their girls are best friends. They were always #1 and #2. Friends but complete opposites. Jose was #16. Adam is #61. 16 and 61. Same numbers, just opposite. And Adam loves Jesus. Who more prepared spiritually to take the mound that day? JESUS. In the very first Fish at bat, Dee Gordon - the smallest guy on the team and with only one Big League homerun to his name - smacked a homer to right field. JESUS. The Marlins won that night. JESUS. On the day of his funeral procession - Wednesday - Jose was driven to the stadium for the very last time. Once all the guys were outside and waiting on Jose's arrival, it began raining only over Marlins Park. See the photo from yesterday's post. JESUS. And after yesterday's funeral, a rainbow stretched across Miami, ending at the very place Jose was taken from this earth. JESUS.

To say that all these things were mere coincidence is unfair at best and deceitful at worst. To me - or to anyone paying attention - it's as though the Lord is standing right in front of us waving his hands in desperation that we would notice him. That we would see these modern, real miracles and consider for a second what is going on. Who is doing it? Why? God did all these things publicly. It was all there for everyone to see. And there were a lot of everyones watching. I sit here and wonder with hope and bold prayer that Jose's passing sparked something in the souls of those who were touched by him. Whether from up close or from afar. To witness and to take in everything that's happened, it would be dishonest and cheap not to consider where he is now and where you're going later. His death wasn't in vain. It wasn't for nothing. Rather, God is using it to create a stirring in some people and to unite others eternally to Himself. I can't think of a better legacy to leave this earth with. Bringing people to Christ. That's our calling.

I can't say with certainty that Jose is with the Lord right now. That's not my dominion. But I have great hope that he is. That when he saw the jetty at the last second, he pleaded for Jesus - if he hadn't already before. It's obvious that the Lord was at work in his heart. That Jose was pursuing, searching, contemplating his life and what he was here for. That he was changing. Truly. I've prayed every day since Monday, "Jesus, let him be with You." 

I see with such clarity now why God brought us to Jose and to Ale.

On the worst day of probably her whole life, God had already been preparing us for her broken heart. He's been working through us and in us that we would be a pillar of strength for her and a light to guide her feet at a time that we were available to her unlike anyone else in her life. He brought her to a place where considering her eternity was actually real and we were able to share with her the only reason we have any hope in all of this...and the only way to find Rest once you're gone from this world. Similarly, God has raised up Adam to a position of spiritual leadership in a clubhouse that has been rocked like never before. Adam's been so in tune with the Lord over the past four years; constantly growing and learning and being refined by the Spirit, using the gifts God gave him in baseball to make speaking to an audience of Big Leaguers normal. And because of his obedience, he's been able to speak to his friends and teammates about real life things. About Jose's death in a way that brings hope and peace and strength. I'm obviously not there, but what's going on in that clubhouse is something so special, so unique, and so of the Lord. And Jose made this possible.

If you don't know it already, you were created by the Lord himself.

Created by a Creator who is the embodiment and actual existence of perfection. Completely perfect. In every way. Not a speck of impurity found in him. And because of his glorious perfection, he cannot be in the presence of imperfection.

You are a sinner.

You are not perfect.

You have done and said and thought pure evil. 

So have I.

There's not been a single person on this planet who hasn't (Romans 3:23 "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God).

And because God cannot be in the presence of sin, we are eternally separated from him. From the maker of Heaven and Earth. Cut off. Without any way back to him. Which means after this life, we are separated eternally from everything perfect. There is nothing good where God is not.

BUT JESUS.

God, in his great love for us, did offer us ONE AND ONLY ONE WAY back to him. He sent his son - his perfect and sinless son - to this earth. To live a life free of every dirty thing. To live a life without impurity, without deceit, without any ounce of sin. Never once did he act or think in a way that wasn't completely of God. He lived the very life that you and I should be living. But because God is as just as he is loving, someone had to pay of the sins of you and me. If I went to your house and broke your lamp, either you or me would have to bear the cost of replacing it. Thankfully, God chose his son to be that payment. On your behalf. Because he was absolutely perfect - without blemish, spotless. The only payment worthy of sacrifice. And so, God sent Jesus to the cross (Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates His love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us). Jesus endured a death far more painful and undeserving than Jose or anyone who's passed before us has. He didn't deserve it. He didn't do anything wrong. But he did it so that you and I - when met with the same fate as Jose - would be able to live in His presence for the rest of eternity. Because what Jesus did on that cross wasn't just about him being beaten and hung to die. No, he was beaten and hung and then worst of all, God's presence left him. Jesus' perfect, eternal relationship with his father completely severed. Jesus paid the penalty for our sins. And the penalty for our sins is an eternity separated from him (Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord). It's Hell. Yes, Hell. It is real. And people are there right now. Separated from God. FOREVER. And not to be alarming, but just to illustrate the weight of Hell: if you think life on Earth is hard, if you think things are getting worse by the second, if you're scared to raise your sons and daughters here, realize that at least God is present on this Earth. He is here. Right now. And think of the pain that's showcased on this earth. Can you even begin to imagine if God wasn't here at all? If there was nothing good here? Not one good thing? That's Hell. And that scares me with every fiber of my being. 

Praise God, each one of us is available to call on Jesus. Romans 10:13 says, "for whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved." How do you get to Heaven? You don't get there by being a good person. Or by living a good life. Or by throwing a fastball 100 MPH. No, you're not even close to "good enough" in comparison to Jesus. You get to Heaven by realizing you're a sinner in need of a savior. Romans 10:9-10 says "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with he mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation." 

If Jesus is who He says He is, if he lived a perfect life, died for your sins, and then three days later, rose from the grave, defeating death, Hell, and the grave, then you must make a decision about him. It's the only honest choice you have. We don't serve a dead God. We serve a God that is alive. He is ALIVE. And from the other side of this computer, I'm begging you to consider it. Consider Jose. Consider where he is right now. Is this life really for nothing? Really? How is that even possible? In my honest opinion, this life is not for nothing. It can't be. We were not made for nothing. We did not get here by accident. Those events leading up to and directly after Jose's death were not coincidences. They were not accidents. Because our God is alive! He is at work, waiting for you to notice Him. Waiting for you to come running back to Him. With arms wide open, He waits.

With tired eyes and a weary heart, I am filled with the hope and promise of Jesus that our prayers will be answered. That through this tragedy, many will come to know the truth Adam and I define our lives by. That Jesus is Lord and the only way to life everlasting. Jose's death has brought a world, a community, a clubhouse, a friendship, and a family together in a way that only he could. He was a remarkable person. A dear friend. And a treasure to so many. And I hope and pray that he's also, and most importantly, an heir to the Throne.

Thank you, Jose.

Thank you for a life filled with adventure. For teaching us to enjoy the game. For that big, white smile and a zest for life. For Alejandra, my dear sister and friend. And for bringing me to a place where I can write this with confidence, courage, and expectation. It is through your life and your place in my heart that I am able to write this. 

Goodnight, dear friends. I love you. I care for you. And I'm here if you ever want to talk. But for now, I'm super tired. It's 4:16AM and after staying up until 3:00AM last night packing our apartment, I must rest.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw

Listen to this song. I can't help but think of Jose and my sweet Jesus.

Day Seventeen Hundred and Forty-Eight

The Favorite Fellowship Day

Yesterday was Fellowship Day at Marlins Park. After the game, fans and friends crowded around a stage to listen to a concert by Tripp Lee, followed by an interview session with the players. Adam was asked to give his testimony to the crowd of hundreds and faithfully, he spoke his heart. 

It was humbling to see him up there witnessing to strangers about the Jesus he knows and loves. The Lord has done such a mighty work in Adam since he became a Believer five years ago and it's so plain to see that his life has been changed forever, in a way that is more beautiful than any of us could've ever imagined. His obedience to God's calling has brought so many incredible opportunities to share his talents and treasures with the world and I'm so thankful that I get to stand by his side - or at least near it ;) - while he takes the message of God's redeeming love wherever he goes. Thank you for being such a light to this team and to this city, Adam. And to me as well. I am blessed dearly to be called your wife.

During the game, we had our own little "fellowship" gathering of the Marlins wives to celebrate our "Favorite Things." Each of the ladies brought their own favorite item to the party to share with everyone else, and so by the time we left, each girl took home 22 of each other's favorite things! It was like mini-Christmas in June! These girls are a treasure and so genuine. I am so grateful for their friendships.

Meanwhile, Amelia was down in the playroom, all dressed up in the new dress Grandma bought her! She played nearly the entire game without me there, but after a meltdown in the eighth inning, Mama came a-runnin! She's getting a little less sensitive about me leaving, but the girl is still attached to my side every chance she gets. Thank you though, BabyGirl, for giving me a little time with my friends yesterday!! Mama needed it!

Especially after being locked up in the house for three straight days trying to get my "favorite thing" completed!!! Ha!

So, turns out besides Jesus, Adam is totally my favorite thing. And ever since I was gifted my Silhouette printer from Auntie Kim, it has become one of my favorite hobbies. SO, since I couldn't necessarily give Adam to each woman - I'm not sure he...or they...or their husbands would've approved! - I decided that I would figure out a fun way to give them their husband! I asked the team photographer to snap a quick photo of each guy on the list (another of my favorite things - photography!) and then I went to town. I used an online photo editor to create the shadowed look of their faces and once saved, I opened the images into my Silhouette software...finagled with the photos a little more, printed them out onto heat transfer vinyl, ironed them onto t-shirts and ta-da!!! Husband/fiance/boyfriend shirts for everyone!! And because I couldn't leave out my very favorite thing, on each of the images, I printed one of my favorite verses:

"We love because He first loved us." 

- 1 John 4:19

I was hopeful that the shirts would be received well - and they were. This project - though tiring and tedious - was a joy for me to create and something that helped me to consider and reflect on each girl separately. As I printed and ironed each of their men onto their shirts, I prayed over each couple specifically, and my hope is when they wear them, they think about - even for a second - why they're able to love the one they do the way they do.

Love you girls <3

Thanks for all my NEW favorite things!!!